web analytics

When kids are wrong

I think my son was four when he decided he had to be right about everything. Four is generally the time when kids find their inner sassy. (Some kids get there earlier; some kids are born full of sass.) Anyway, he was around four and suddenly he was always right and I... read more

Change anyway

Sometimes when you try to change your friends and family’s need for sameness will be so great that they will refuse to see that you have grown into something different.

read more

Counseling by text

This is what my social media policy says about texting (this is part of the intake paperwork all of my clients receive and I have them sign something that says they have read and understand my policies): You may text me with questions about appointment times, to... read more

Speaking truth to your adopted child

I think that even if we never ever ever breathe an unasked for word about our kids’ birth parents that our collective unconsciousness is already, in some ways, defining our own position as parents to our children.

read more

Introverted Kids in Brain Child

When parents — and teachers — understand what normal, healthy introversion looks like, they can feel more confident about supporting those introverted kids who need some alone time to be the best they can be.

read more

Angry Adoptees

There’s a myth that goes around adoptive parent circles, which says that if you are a good adoptive parent your child will never grieve, never be angry about his/her adoption and never “need” to meet their birth family.

read more

Small Books, Small Toys

I just finished a kid’s book titled Return of the Twelves. It’s about a set of wooden soldiers once owned by Branwell Bronte and his sisters. The soldiers are alive and the little boy who finds them watches over them as one of their Genii (plural for genius). When... read more

Farming it out

It takes a village, this parenting thing, and the village can cover the things you don’t like to do so that you can really really really enjoy spending time with your child doing the things that you both like.

read more

Reading is a Form of Play

  I can’t remember how old my son was when he stopped playing. One day he was spending hours creating worlds with his little PVC Pokemon figurines and then the next day he wasn’t but I can’t really remember when that was. But I remember that he... read more

8Tracks: Rolling Water

Back in the old days we used to make mix tapes. Then we made mix CDs. Now we make virtual playlists. It’s Monday! Must be time for music! Rolling Water from thiswomanswork on 8tracks... read more

The class is going swimmingly

It’s fun to see what people find new and exciting. Different people find different things illuminating and I always learn something by witnessing people tune in to a new idea.

read more

Still time to register

I’ve been working on revamping my hand-outs and adding a Powerpoint (well, Keynote — same diff as we used to say in the 80s!) for the visual learners. I keep getting asked about offering the class online but haven’t really figured out how to do this.... read more

Different Kids Need Different Parents

I found this write-up of a study that looked at the impact parenting can have on helping kids cope with depression and anxiety. The study’s authors found that children who were able to regulate their own emotions did better when their parents supported them and... read more

It takes two (or more)

This is not a post about spanking even though I’m going to use spanking as an example; it’s a post about context and relationships. When I worked at the women’s shelter in Portland one of our rules was “no spanking in shelter,” which is a... read more

Talking it out

  Writers know that most of us don’t come to the page with a full-fledged idea; we come with a scrap and we write out from that scrap into the rest of the story. Likewise most of us don’t come to therapy knowing exactly what’s wrong; we come... read more